Greetings, my dearest friends. God bless every one of you. Blessed be this hour. Over the years, we have from time to time given you a brief overall view that helped to establish a link between certain lectures, even if some of these lectures were delivered long ago. Such overviews always indicate a new phase on the path, and their timing often coincides with the end of an old, or the beginning of a new working season.
This time, I should like to combine the lectures on inner will and outer will, on the soul substance in connection with the images, and the one about the yes-and no-currents. Some of my friends will immediately be affected by these words, others may benefit only later when further obstructions are overcome, but this does not mean that they cannot catch up. That is always entirely up to them.
Such summaries must at first appear repetitious, but when you experience the truth within your innermost self, you will realize that the combining of these topics is a new approach — and can, indeed, become a revelation. It must deepen and widen the knowledge you have gained so far. It must make it an integral part of your being, rather than an outer knowledge.
Let us first recapitulate the meaning of the yes-and no-currents. The yes-current is the expression of the supreme intelligence and creative universal force. It is the life force, whose aspects have been discussed in a separate lecture. It is all that strives toward union, wholeness, harmony, fulfillment, fruition. It is truth and love in its substance and manifestation. It is life-embracing and accepting. Its movements are smooth and harmonious. All those adapting themselves to the yes-current must be in equally smooth harmony, must reach perfection and fulfillment on higher levels, must extend the range and experience of a consciousness unbroken by untruthful concepts and contradictory currents.
The no-current affects us in the opposite manner, but not in the sense that it is itself evil, manifest in the scheme of creation as an equal principle to the life force. It consists rather of ignorance, blindness, distortion, and lack of awareness. Ignoring truth, it must be in fear, and spread fear. Hence it is the opposite of love, of everything that leads toward union and fulfillment. It is discord, and spreads disharmony and isolation. Those who are enmeshed in it follow a harsh, disharmonious, rocky, shrinking or rejecting soul movement that leads to greater blindness, error, and half-truths, and puts the emphasis on aspects of the self and others which, even though perhaps correct in themselves, do not lead out of the no-current.
The yes-current is the root of all. It is the cause. It is the inner source, and provides you with a realistic, comprehensive grasp of things, so that outer manifestations are seen in proportion.
The no-current does not open a further vista than the periphery, the effect, the outer manifestation — and therefore it does not lead to truth, liberation, or harmony. No matter how much truth one believes one sees, disturbance, chaos, and destruction remain.
You cannot find a way out of the hopelessness and destruction, the temporary and pseudo-satisfaction of no-current manifestations, unless you become deeply aware of it. This is the primary and essential step. And there is certainly nothing negative about discovering your life-defeating, destructive attitudes that your No consists of. Many people believe that a positive attitude toward life means ignoring the negative in oneself, but nothing could be further from the truth. This is a misunderstanding of the processes of growth and development. It is impossible to adopt a truthful concept and to replace the old untruthful one unless one clearly understands why the old concept is untruthful. The real impetus to transform oneself can never come unless one sees the destructive nature of a false image and evaluates its effects on self and others. This alone will make you summon all your resources to bring about a change. Vague knowledge of the general principles of this process cannot suffice when you deal with a deeply imprinted no-current.
When you discover specifically how you say No to a special desire or a cherished fulfillment, you reach a major transition in your entire development, in your outlook toward life. After such a discovery, you can never be the same. For the first time, you comprehend the fact that you do not have to depend on circumstances outside your control, that you are not a persecuted victim of an unfair and unkind fate, that you do not live in a chaotic world, where the law of the jungle seems the most appropriate. Such discoveries must lead away from the false concept of a punishing or rewarding deity up in the sky, and from the equally false idea that there is no order, no superior intelligence in the universe.
When you discover that you say No to the very thing you desire most, you can no longer be insecure and frightened and hanging on to the misconception that you are unlucky and inferior. Suddenly the truth of divine order will come so near that you can grasp it — and this, indeed, is a wonderful experience, even if at first you may not be able to hold on to it. It means the extension of your grasp, the deepening of your understanding. You are becoming more acutely aware of the fact that all your unhappiness and unfulfillment is not a remote effect of a remote cause, even remote in your self, but a very direct effect of a cause that is right in front of your eyes, if you choose to look at it. Of course it requires the training of becoming aware of hidden emotional reactions, of subtle, elusive, vaguely felt emotional movements. But once your mind is accustomed to observing these reactions, such awareness is not far away. The No that you, and you alone, can recognize is as distinct as any object in your outer environment you wish to grasp, touch and see.
Finding such a No must not be a superficial, glib acknowledgement. Allow yourself to feel the full impact and significance of it by first acknowledging that it exists at all, and then ascertaining why it exists, and on what specific misconceptions it is based. When this is perceived for the first time, hopelessness, defeatism will make room for genuine — not superimposed — hope, and a positive attitude toward life. You will glean that what has refused to come to you and made you more hopeless now has a chance to do so because you begin to envision the possibility of a change in yourself — even before you are capable of changing. The prospect then exists in a realistic way. The more this change is envisioned the more can the will to change be cultivated.
Before you gain a clear vision of the specific area of its operation, the no-current will act against the very endeavor of discovery and change. Hence, a strongly negative attitude will manifest in any number of ways toward the pathwork itself. Some of my friends have already found that the moment they successfully fought and overcame their resistance against the work at a particular phase, they found a corresponding No toward life in general. While on a conscious level an urgent, frantic, hopeless Yes — not the yes-current — clamors, cries and trembles, the underlying No defeats all efforts and makes the entire process truly hopeless.
Many of my friends have experienced that so often before one comes to the most crucial point of transition, the battle against it is equally crucial. The temptation to blind oneself to the true issue, to project and displace, often blurs one’s memory of past victory; of the proper procedure of prayer, meditation, and daily review; of formulating confusions, unanswered questions, vague uneasy feelings in a concise way and tackling them as they barricade the way; of asking for help; of cultivating one’s inner will to overcome all barriers toward seeing the truth about oneself and having the willingness to change; of registering the inner No during these endeavors; of tackling these No’s in the only productive way, namely with the intent of wanting to see and understand the truth about the matter. We have discussed all this extensively. Wherever crisis, doubt, and dissatisfaction exist, these procedures must have been neglected, and the temptation of the outer direction of displacement, projection, and emphasis — even on a truth — but an unrelated truth, has been too powerful to resist.
Opening oneself to the truth is a decisive step toward bringing the personality into the yes-current. Change, such as transformation of character structure, as well as of false imprints or images, is hardly possible as long as one does not understand why such a change is truly desirable. Therefore, the path can roughly be divided into two major phases: first, enlisting divine help for recognition of truth; second, enlisting this same agency for the strength, stamina, and ability to change. These two fundamental desires, being part of the great yes-current, must be cultivated in the details of daily living, reactions, thoughts, and feelings. This detail work is the most important aspect of the willingness to change. What you concentrate on today is surely not the same as what it was last month or as it will be a month from now, provided your pathwork is dynamic and not a superficial endeavor.
Some time ago, when we discussed the images, I also mentioned the soul substance which is the material that registers an individual’s outlook on and attitudes to life. When these attitudes derive from a truthful impression and a constructive attitude prevails, the soul substance is molded in such a way that the person’s life is meaningful, fulfilling and happy. When the impressions are based on wrong conclusions, the molds in the soul substance create unfavorable, destructive situations. In short, a man’s and woman’s fate is nothing more or less than the sum total of their personalities, what they express and emanate, which, in turn, determines how the soul substance is molded in terms of reality or unreality. Human consciousness is the sculptor, the soul substance the material which it molds. It is the entire personality, including all levels, which determines the fate. If a person has a healthy, constructive, realistic, truthful concept but only in some levels of the personality while other levels express the opposite, such a contradiction affects the soul substance negatively, even if the positive attitude is stronger and conscious, while the negative one remains hidden. It is therefore essential that the hidden areas of the soul substance be uncovered in order to understand, from seeing the imprints, why the desired fulfillment is still missing in life.
Some of you, my friends on the path, have recently discovered a hidden No you could never have felt before. On the contrary, you were convinced that you wanted with all your being what remained unfulfilled, that you certainly did not want an undesirable experience. The mere suggestion that there might be an unconscious contrary striving would have seemed preposterous to you.
Such No’s are directly connected with the original image, the false concept which molded the image into the soul substance. It is this basic misconception which makes one reject what one wants most, subtly acting in such a way that the image inevitably appears to be confirmed. For example, if you are under the basic misconception that you are inadequate and cannot succeed, this conviction will make you behave in such a way that you will indeed act inadequately. What is more, you will fear success, because your conviction of not being able to live up to it will make it frightening. Once you find your particular No, and how it influences your behavior, whether obvious or subtle, you come to understand that you lack success not because you are inadequate, but you are inadequate because you think you are and fear any occasion that might put you to the test.
Changing from a deeply engraved no-current to a yes-current can occur only when this entire process is profoundly understood; when the subtle shrinking away from a desirable goal is observed and finally changed into, “I want this goal with all my heart. I have nothing to fear from it.” Meditation on why there is nothing to fear, why the old fear was false, and why the new accepting attitude to life is entirely safe, is the final step in moving from a no-current to a yes-current. This should be done as daily meditation work, creating a new mold in the soul substance — this time a flexible, light, truthful one which finally erases the old, rigid, heavy, untruthful one.
When misconceptions of “not deserving” all that happiness are found, they are often connected with the faulty God-image. Such false ideas make your wish capacity weak, preventing it from issuing forth the strong, clear, unbroken consciousness of wanting and deserving the desired experience. The misconception that striving for personal fulfillment is identical with selfishness and greed is another obstacle to a healthy yes-current. When such wrong conclusions mingle with personal images, they are stubborn hurdles which can be eliminated only by full recognition of all connected aspects and by formulating a new outlook and attitude.
On this path, you have learned to review your life in the light of progress already made, and to determine not only in what respect you have outgrown old obstructions, but also what remains to be accomplished. When you examine the still unfulfilled areas of your life, finding the underlying no-current, compare these areas with the aspects of your life in which you are fulfilled. Then consider the underlying yes-current: the subtle but distinct expression of certainty that this good thing is yours, will always easily be yours, that it does not present a difficulty and that you are not afraid that you may lose it. It might be wise to also investigate the areas in which you feel deserving, where you are willing to pay the price and to give. You will then realize that your attitudes in those healthy areas vastly differ from your feelings and expectations in the unfulfilled areas. Making such a comparison will yield much understanding. Feel distinctly the difference between your approach, emotions, and subtle expressions in your healthy, fulfilled, happy life situations and those in which you consistently find a frustrating, unhappy pattern.
It is not easy, but certainly feasible to come from the no-current into the yes-current. You cannot possibly come out of the no-current as long as you cling to the conviction that you have nothing to do with your problem, that you are helpless to change your predicament. But when you realize that the final decisive factor is you — your will and your determination — then the end of your suffering is near. Say, “I want to come out of it. In order to do so, I want to know specifically what obstructs the way at this moment. I know that my real self, that the constructive universal forces help and guide me the moment I decide to do something about it. I will be ready to see what is inside me.” Continue your activities in this direction, and what had seemed impossible will suddenly become feasible. Relaxed meditation, concentration, and a minimum of daily self-observation cannot possibly be dispensed with. They are the tools, learning to use them in the appropriate way is part of your growing process.
I have often mentioned that nothing in itself is right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, constructive or destructive. It is the same with feeling, experiencing, and expressing the attitude of “I want to,” regarding a particular fulfillment. The mere fact of its existence is no guarantee that your wanting it is a yes-current. Apart from the opposite desire on an unconscious level, such a “yes” may come out of greed and fear, of too much wanting, and greed and fear are products of the no-current. If there were no hidden no-current, there would be no doubt that you could have it, therefore there would be no fear that you could not have it. You need not be greedy, for if you are in truth and in harmony with the cosmic forces, the yes-current will function as a natural and easy and calm flow within you. You can issue the “I want” into the yes-current with a fullness and wholeness which is devoid of anxiety and doubt and greed. Yes or no, “I want to” or “I do not want to,” can only be determined as expressions of the yes-or no-current if these wishes are closely observed, if one listens to any harsh or disturbing emotion contained in them.
I have also often mentioned that contact with the divine spark, or your real self, is an outcome of this pathwork. Some of my friends are beginning to experience this indescribable event. The safety, security, conviction of truth, the harmony and rightness of it are worth all the effort of overcoming resistance. It alone can truly guide you. It not only is the yes-current, but it inspires you to strengthen the already existing yes-current, to correct all faulty impressions, to give you all the insight you need, and to give you the strength to change and transform yourself. In order to have the divine spark manifest, you must deliberately contact it and require it to answer you and show you the way. But the ego-mind so often stands in the way. It believes that it alone exists and determines. It must decide to let the greater brain determine your life. Many of you have experienced that your real self responds — sometimes instantly, sometimes later, but it always does. Yet this, too, is forgotten, as are your victories after overcoming resistance. Let this innermost self, this greater intelligence within you, answer your confusions, guide you to the truth you need to know about yourself and strengthen you to change false images, misconceptions, and to swing from the no-current, that has a deeply hopeless, doubting, destructive, dark, negative outlook, into the yes-current with its promise which will be inevitably fulfilled.
When you discover the persistence of a subtle but distinct No to a cherished fulfillment, a fearful cringing from it that you cannot explain and which can only be detected by looking very closely, it is of the greatest importance that you do not argue it away, that you are not impatient with yourself, that you do not deny its existence in the wishful thinking that by doing so it will go away. This never works. Rather, acknowledge it, draw it out further into consciousness and prepare yourself for finding the answer to the barrier. Pose the proper questions, realizing that you must not shy away from any effort, for without divine help you are incapable of accomplishing any great goal. What appears like the greatest contradiction to the spiritually and emotionally immature person becomes self-evident truth for the spiritually and emotionally mature individual. One must be fully self-sufficient in order to come into the full realization that God’s help is essential, and that this help has to be requested by the independent person as an act of will. The immature refuse to stand on their own feet. They desire a higher authority to be responsible for them, but lack the humility to recognize that their greatness lies in their divine self. The divine self, however, is not up in heaven, but deep within where it can be summoned and consulted. More and more it will be this divine self that manifests and the little self will integrate into it.
An additional source of help is the method of talking things out. This has proven to be true in other phases of the work, and it is of equal importance in this phase. Talking out what you want, what your obstruction is, and the reason for your no-current has a therapeutic value beyond your present comprehension. As you talk to another person, things will take shape and gain a clarity that you missed as long as you merely thought about them, even if you wrote them down. Also, it is often impossible to gain on your own an insight, that a neutral observer may point out, because one is too deeply involved in one’s problem. Talking it out relieves pressure and that sets valuable energy free. You gain a new perspective and something begins to change inside before you even know it. Something is set in motion when you deliberately tap your divine self for answers and guidance, and when you release the pressure by talking about it openly. The effect of these two important activities will be experienced by anyone who follows this advice. Again, I emphasize, no one needs to blindly accept my word for it.
You may also need to overcome a no-current against the process of self-exposure. For wherever the trouble festers, a deep shame exists. Whatever the misconception, the original image with its false premises and negative emotions causes deep shame. Whether you are frightened or hurt, your sense of being isolated with a guilty, shameful secret that makes you different from others can best be exposed as false by talking to another person. As one gets started, the shame begins to vanish until it shows itself as the illusion it always was, an illusion which has caused so much suffering. I should like to point out a difference between talking about the problem, your feelings and reactions, and talking all of them out. The former is often a necessary and good beginning, but the latter is much closer to the goal of swinging into the yes-current.
The wise, inner self knows what is needed and subtly nudges the outer personality. When close contact with this inner self is not established on all levels, such nudging is misinterpreted. The accumulated pressure of the need to talk is put into unproductive channels because the little ego fears and wants to avoid — often unconsciously — uncovering the “shame.” The no-current is at work. When the pressure to talk is relieved inappropriately, one will concentrate on matters that are not connected with one’s personal area of trouble. This may have destructive side-effects, apart from hindering the personal growth process. Disharmony may be spread unintentionally, often out of goodwill and with partly correct insights into matters that have nothing to do with the self. If one is not connected with one’s inner self a most truthful observation will be but a half-truth, whereas any observation will have the ring of truth if one does not avoid something in oneself. If the pressure from the inner need to talk out one’s afflicted area is diverted into other channels, disorder and stagnation follow. The momentary relief from having to deal with the troubled area is like the fleeting pleasure of giving in to any destructive impulse.
The real relief of being in truth can become yours the moment you are on the road of overcoming the shame of the deepest inner lesions of your soul. Again, this cannot be done immediately, but if you tackle your resistance by constant honest self-observation, acknowledging the fact of it without self-deception, and requesting the help of your higher self, success will come. You will then know what it means to live without shame, without the need to be isolated, without the burden of hiding your true self. Do not dissipate the energy by letting yourself be tempted away from it, depriving yourself of a very necessary spiritual and emotional medication.
Every tight or too firm conviction in connection with your work on the path should be examined. Are you truly open to consider an opposite view as well? Only then can you perceive the voice of your higher self should it wish to convey something different. And only then will you know whether your first conviction was indeed right for you. Such deep inner certainty can only come when you are willing and ready to accept something other than your preference.
As you must deeply want the truth about yourself in order to obtain it, so must you deeply want to transform. Is there a hidden No? Why? What is the fear? The unwillingness to transform what is inside is the same No that exists to the fulfillment you wish from the outside.
I would now like to discuss a point which has puzzled some of my friends, although their confusion is not always conscious. It is the fact that the pathwork, at a certain point, appears to aggravate negative feelings. I know that you know some answers to this question, such as the obvious one that hitherto unconscious material has now become conscious. This is temporarily bothersome. But there is another factor important to understand.
A young human being starts out in life with personal images and misconceptions, having fabricated certain “remedies” against the illusory dread. These are the pseudo-solutions, connected with the idealized self-image. With these the person hopes to defend against what he or she is afraid of in life. While you are young and vigorous, you do not yet realize that your pseudo-solutions don’t work. When you are successful, you believe that it is because of them, rather than in spite of them. You are not yet discouraged by repeated disappointments. The hopelessness, depression, and sense of futility are still absent. If you continue to live with the burden of error, you gradually come to the point of utter discouragement. Each time the pseudo-solutions fail to work you despair, but since the entire process of having formed pseudo-solutions and what they are supposed to avoid is unconscious, there is no way of remedying the situation. In fact, you are convinced that you have not worked hard enough to make the pseudo-solutions work, to get the false, idealized self across. Then you believe that you are so inadequate that you cannot even successfully pretend; yet if you could only get to perfecting these imagined “solutions,” all would be well. You would be saved. The idea of giving them up seems like a tremendous danger, utterly exposing you to annihilation, humiliation and shame. Needless to say, all these feelings are unconscious. The no-current is used to avoid the imagined threat.
When the pathwork demolishes this pretense and the inefficient pseudo-solutions — instead of strengthening them as one unconsciously hopes — there is panic. One fights for one’s life, and feels losing ground, rather than gaining, because the old ways of coping can no longer be used. The conscious self now sees their preposterousness and they can no longer be employed. But the new concepts are not yet formed. In this interim stage, one finds oneself in a vacuum which one often unwittingly prolongs by fighting against going forward. Truthful concepts cannot mold life as long as one precariously balances on the point of confusion, despair, and stubborn refusal to open up and go further. I wish that all of you, my friends, would deeply meditate on this, seeing whether it already applies to you. If not, it could still come to pass. Are you prepared to meet this vacuum in the most constructive, wise, and knowing way?
False solutions and means to cope with life create false strength, false security, false happiness — or, for that matter, if it seems expedient, false unhappiness in order to manipulate, or punish others. The false, superimposed tendencies have to disappear before genuine strength, security, and happiness can become a part of the self. How can a genuine yes-current exist, if part of your personality is expressing false emotions? It is exactly the same with the true and the false God concept. The false God-image has to be dissolved before the genuine God concept can become part of the psyche. It is an unrealistic expectation that when the new is built, the old, obsolete attitudes disappear. The degree of pain at dissolving the false, old ways and transforming them into new attitudes depends on the strength of the no-current opposing the process, and on the degree to which this no-current can be inactivated by awareness and observation, and the measure of subsequent appropriate activity and treatment.
For the yes-current to express in any area of your life and personality, your entire being must be of one piece, a wholeness. Your consciousness cannot be divided, with different levels expressing different goals, opinions, concepts, and emotions. The yes-current cannot manifest by talking yourself into it. Systems and approaches are often misunderstood and abused; people are misled into a temporary hopefulness, into temporary success, but it cannot be real and permanent unless all levels of your being are filled with one expression and no area is left that does not know the truth, that still nurtures doubts and fears, and that fails to express the truth. Nor can this wholeness be accomplished unless some parts of the character structure are truly transformed — “reborn,” as Jesus said. Such complete reorientation of the personality cannot be a slipshod affair. It does not come easily. It requires your total involvement and investment in the process. It demands fierce overcoming of stubborn, easily misleading resistance, and refusal to yield to temptation. There is no shortcut, except that it appears easy when the transformation has already taken place and the psyche is free from division and contradiction.
When you reach the state of oneness with yourself, with your innermost divine self, in the flow and harmony of the yes-current, you have nothing to fear. You stand on firm ground. Fulfillment of any expression of your self can easily be yours.
When you allow yourself to shed all falseness, expressing your will to grow, you must come to see that the God you unconsciously feared does not exist. The God who does exist knows no limitation in squandering happiness that is all yours for the asking. You do not have to choose — as you often unconsciously believe — between one form of fulfillment or another. You may dare to express fulfillment in health and in a happy partnership and relationship, but you may feel selfish and greedy if your consciousness also expresses the wish for a fruitful career. The false God-image, also existing in those who consciously deny a superior Creator, makes them miserly with their own fulfillment. But this is not God’s way or will. It is your way and will, born out of your inner limitations. Once they are shed, one by one, paradise can be on earth, just as hell can be — always according to your inner state of being. Those limitations are the wrong ideas you have about life, about yourself, and about your role in life. When you understand that self hood and self-government are synonymous with following the voice and the will of your divine self, that these two concepts are not mutually exclusive and contradictory but interdependent, you will comprehend the vast difference between the real self and the insignificant outer brain, the difference between the tight, anxious, doubtful, greedy pseudo-yes-current and the relaxed, calm inner knowledge of all the good things in life belonging to you, of the real yes-current. And you will experience the truth of true spiritual awakening: that the tremendous power and immanence of the divine is at your immediate disposal; that without it, you cannot truly accomplish anything; and, in order to contact it, you have to stand on your own feet, dispensing with the necessity of having another authority responsible for you. Every effect in your life can be traced to your inner causes, but the human being struggles against this truth often more than reason warrants. In all sorts of obvious or subtle ways, you seek the reason for your life circumstances outside yourself.
Many of you have experienced an immediate answer to the godself in you, to the manifestation of the yes-current, to the liberation of resistance overcome. Do not forget the truth of your wonderful recognitions, for recollecting them will make it easier to proceed. Every time you ask for the manifestation of the divine within yourself it comes, whether to know the truth about yourself, to resolve a difficult situation, or to transform your self into a more truthful, productive person. Utilize this contact more and more, let it instruct you and open new ways for you. It is unlimited wisdom and power, infinite love. If you use this great power more specifically and regularly, rather than only occasionally, you will all come to the full realization that this path brings you to true liberation.
Nothing stands in the way of a full, fulfilled, rich life. These are not empty promises. All the tools you need are given to you, and you alone can use them. Often, instead of fully using these tools, instead of wanting to change the attitudes that cause your unhappiness, you grumble and blame the pathwork for not living up to its promises — as though it ever promised to do the work for you! No approach can ever do that, it can only show you what you must do, how you must change, so that your life can change for the better. But those of you who steadfastly make progress, fighting against the No within, doing the work day in and day out, register the growing conviction that you are slowly stepping out of confinement and darkness into the freedom and light of truth. Anyone who claims that he or she has done their best but has not succeeded is not in truth, is suffering from self-delusion. He or she may make good efforts in areas of lesser importance, but refuses to see the truth where it hurts most, where the person still misses liberation.
Are there any questions, now?
QUESTION: In connection with this lecture, I found that my no-current is more superficial, while inwardly there is more of a yes-current than I thought. Could you explain this?
ANSWER: Yes, this is very true. With you the process is reversed. Your astounding progress in a relatively short time, especially in view of the seriousness of your problems when you entered this path, accounts for the fact. I always try to convey to all my friends that the unconscious is the more potent force, determining the outcome regardless of the conscious will. The latter is of immeasurable importance, but it must be geared to make the unconscious conscious in order to remove all obstacles and division within the self.
The reason for this in your case is that by nature you are a much more constructive, accepting, positive person than you artificially make yourself. Once the artifice is shed, this truer self appears and expresses itself more freely. You cling to the artificially negative side, almost as a sort of superstition, as though you believed that you can ward off real unhappiness by indulging in a false one. You express it with this attitude: “If I say No, life will not say No to me and will not treat me too badly.”
QUESTION: I feel that I have the no-current inward and outward; everything is No. Can you help me understand why?
ANSWER: Yes, and I can also help you to come out of it. This is the reason: You fear that if you do not say No, a specific inadequacy and shame would have to be tackled. It is, of course, no real inadequacy or real shame, but you unconsciously think so. The No seems to eliminate the necessity of looking closer. You may not be able to feel this yet, but you will if you proceed with your pathwork. Once you do, it will become easier to tackle the inner enemy — the No.
As for immediate advice on how to proceed: Take any of the many little No’s coming up in your work in your daily life and enter into your private meditation, all alone, peaceful and relaxed. Such meditation might be somewhat like this, but use your own words: “Why do I say No? I have the power not to say No. And I now say Yes to really and truly wanting to find out my particular No’s.” Take one at a time. “With all my heart I say Yes to wanting to understand the No.” First you will feel a strong negative pull against it, but, expecting it, you are prepared and do not allow it to dissuade you. You go on saying: “The truth cannot harm me, although something ignorant in me rebels against it. In spite of it, I say Yes. It has no power over the way I direct my will and my endeavors. This very same No has brought much destructiveness and misery, and I do not allow it to rule over me any longer. I take the reins in my hands.” Do this daily for a while and open yourself up to what comes, in the spirit of “for better or worse, I want to find out why the No stops me from all that could bring me happiness. I no longer wish to reject all that is life-giving, outgoing, unifying. I no longer wish to embrace isolation and hostility.”
When you meditate in such a way, enlisting the divine forces inside your being, you will indeed experience a great transformation. The first time will be difficult, but if you persevere, it will become easier and yield more and more results. And, I beg of you, choose to remember the many times you were in a fierce and fearful No, but after you overcame it, the relief and release, the renewed energy, the increased understanding and health, and also the knowledge and certainty that what you had feared before was entirely groundless, all that was in proportion to the fear and resistance that you had harbored. Make use of the considerable progress already made, rather than letting yourself slide into inertia again. Then you will yet experience the greatest victory and liberation so far! When you follow this advice, you will truly make the transformation from a downward curve, from the no-current, to a building up, to the upward life-giving stream, to the yes-current.
My dearest friends, you are all blessed. May these words be more than words, may they remain not theory, but become the tools they are meant to be. Thus you will finally allow yourself to be happy, you will no longer cringe from fulfillment. Be in peace. Be in God!